I guess i have enough of keeping unhappy things to myself. Everyone sees me as a happy, cheerful girl. But deep down, i aint one.. No one is ever there for me to hear me out. & i cant bear to hurt you w all the fucked up words that are kept within me. So i guess this is a secret platform for me to vent everything out. :)
Time flies, & it had been 7 months since the day we got together :) i agreed to go into a r/s with you when we barely know each other.. To be honest, you were not my ideal type.. not even near I supposed. But that night, I said yes, even though I had no idea why..
In the past 7 months, tons of things happened. We went tons of places together, adventure cove, aquarium, sentosa, pool, bowl, swim, movies, & even batam! :) I was happy, genuinely happy. & of course there were times where it's hard for us to manage.. Conflicts & misunderstandings w person m & her gang, fingers pointing, tumblr insultings, financial & all.. Also not forgetting our stubborn characters that are always the roots of our countless arguments. But we managed to pull them through this far. I never believe in 天长地久，but because of those happy moments we shared, makes me gradually believe that we might actually last..
But recently.. My confidence level dropped, drastically. I felt insignificant inside.. Disappointment overwhelms me. & it made me think if I was too hot headed that night..
You were always occupied by your friends, be it dota, or clique outing(person m included).. Even though we were spending time tgt, you were always w your clique whats app chat. I feel really insignificant & unloved.. It seems to me that i weigh nothing in your heart.. I was really upset whenever you are meeting up with her.. ( you gonna meet her on the 13th again) Yes, i'm still the fucking weakling, i still feel damn in-secured whenever you meet up with her. I didnt tell you cause i didnt want you to feel bad.. but i did show it in my tumblr, twitter.. But you don't seem to give a damn. I guess i ain't as important as I thought I was to you :)
Then, you always seems tired when you are w me.. For your friends, you can always wake up early & sleep very very late... I don't know why for me, you can't. But i never blame you for that.. Never once.. i'm just jealous of what you can sacrifice for your friends, but not for me.
Every little things that happened, makes me wonder if we are really suitable.. Little things do count.. At least to me.. You always tend to make "promises", but it seems that you weren't able to do it.. prob you just don't give a damn :)
Today, I was utterly disappointed. I wanted to see Gordon Ramsay.. Really a very big fan of his.. I was really looking forward to it from the moment I knew he was coming to Singapore.. You said you wanted to go with me, which we did. The warm weather & large crowd did not dampen my mood, at all. But they did to yours.. Your face went black immediately upon reaching.. & your tone all were very pekcek.. Though you kept saying it's okay, it's alright, I know deep down you were upset or even angry.. That's why I decided to leave, even though you didn't want to.. But.. deep down, I was really very very disappointed..
Hmm, recently got to know recently that she is still waiting for you.. Maybe she's right, i should not even exist.. I'm just a third party/slut/bitch whom seduced you
-forcethesmile :)
Time flies, & it had been 7 months since the day we got together :) i agreed to go into a r/s with you when we barely know each other.. To be honest, you were not my ideal type.. not even near I supposed. But that night, I said yes, even though I had no idea why..
In the past 7 months, tons of things happened. We went tons of places together, adventure cove, aquarium, sentosa, pool, bowl, swim, movies, & even batam! :) I was happy, genuinely happy. & of course there were times where it's hard for us to manage.. Conflicts & misunderstandings w person m & her gang, fingers pointing, tumblr insultings, financial & all.. Also not forgetting our stubborn characters that are always the roots of our countless arguments. But we managed to pull them through this far. I never believe in 天长地久，but because of those happy moments we shared, makes me gradually believe that we might actually last..
But recently.. My confidence level dropped, drastically. I felt insignificant inside.. Disappointment overwhelms me. & it made me think if I was too hot headed that night..
You were always occupied by your friends, be it dota, or clique outing(person m included).. Even though we were spending time tgt, you were always w your clique whats app chat. I feel really insignificant & unloved.. It seems to me that i weigh nothing in your heart.. I was really upset whenever you are meeting up with her.. ( you gonna meet her on the 13th again) Yes, i'm still the fucking weakling, i still feel damn in-secured whenever you meet up with her. I didnt tell you cause i didnt want you to feel bad.. but i did show it in my tumblr, twitter.. But you don't seem to give a damn. I guess i ain't as important as I thought I was to you :)
Then, you always seems tired when you are w me.. For your friends, you can always wake up early & sleep very very late... I don't know why for me, you can't. But i never blame you for that.. Never once.. i'm just jealous of what you can sacrifice for your friends, but not for me.
Every little things that happened, makes me wonder if we are really suitable.. Little things do count.. At least to me.. You always tend to make "promises", but it seems that you weren't able to do it.. prob you just don't give a damn :)
Today, I was utterly disappointed. I wanted to see Gordon Ramsay.. Really a very big fan of his.. I was really looking forward to it from the moment I knew he was coming to Singapore.. You said you wanted to go with me, which we did. The warm weather & large crowd did not dampen my mood, at all. But they did to yours.. Your face went black immediately upon reaching.. & your tone all were very pekcek.. Though you kept saying it's okay, it's alright, I know deep down you were upset or even angry.. That's why I decided to leave, even though you didn't want to.. But.. deep down, I was really very very disappointed..
Hmm, recently got to know recently that she is still waiting for you.. Maybe she's right, i should not even exist.. I'm just a third party/slut/bitch whom seduced you
-forcethesmile :)
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