Personal & Relations Thoughts

With all those happenings, i'm fucking drained.

i have no other ways to vent my frustration, so i'm here again. 

Firstly.. i almost lost my wallet today.. Miracle happened, which makes me cut down the loss to $50? However, i aint sure if the $50 were "taken" or "stolen". it will always be a myth. But, i can blame no one. It all happened due to my carelessness. & of course, way to forgetful.. Sometimes, i really hate myself for being so forgetful. If only there are medicine for to boost one's memory. !@#$%^&*()*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*(

Secondly, i really hate how people comment on my baking. it's just fucking annoying. It's like ppl close to me, (boy, mum, maid) will always say my pastry taste good, delicious, blah blah.& my brothers will discriminate them like nobody business. That's why i hate to ask them to try.. Just imagine 2 groups of people saying two different thing about your pastry, that's fucking confusing.

Not to forget, my haywire expenses. $50 went missing, $100 for phone repair, $60 for camp, petrol, transportation, food, overseas, plane tickets, blah blah blah. Hello? I aint even earning that much now. Merely giving a couple tuition & everyone thought my money came from the sky. I do admit i have a little savings here & there. & that's because i dont drink, smoke, club, pub or whatever nonsense. Just imagine how much you have got to spend in a visit.. Unless you got a freaking rich boy/girlfriend who is willing to foot the bill uh. To sum up, Singapore is just too expensive for one to live in. 

Lastly, relations. it's complicated. Sometimes, i do feel that my love for him is somewhat fading.. i feel insignificant.. it seems that to him, every little thing is way more important than me. & this feeling sucks. i do hope that i'm just overthinking.. Else, something bad is gonna happen, real soon. :/ Anyway..tmr, boy is going to his class outing (& yes m is included). After the tumblr insulting issue, i guess i start hating her as much as she's hating me. i just cant get over it. i cant stand it when things are left unresolved. i did approach her, not once, not twice but thrice. that coward didnt reply though. but she has the balls to tweet, "this time round, it's my turn to wait" (which means she's waiting for boy to break up w me & go to her, wtf) Everyone around me told me that she's just seeking attention, ignore her. but why? thats not my style. She's seeking attention? i dont fucking care. what i'm concern is, she spoil my reputation by spreading negative remarks, she is so gonna pay for it. I mean, it's just taking up responsibility for what you did right? you got the balls to say i'm a slut, bitch, whore or even say that i seduce your man, why dont you have the courage to own up or even clarify with me? i guess it's just my luck for meeting this kind of crazy people. 

Anyway, enough of venting. i'm really looking forward to the upcoming weeks! hope i can manage the busy schedule ahead. 

-forcethesmile :)